


Virgil's Adventures in Wonderland

by imthederpyfox



Series: Sanders sides [13]
Category: Alice in Wonderland - Fandom, Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Book - Freeform, Book Parody, Lewis Carroll - Freeform, Parody, White Rabbit - Freeform, Wonderland, Writing, alice in wonderland parody, i dont have it all planned yet, ill add to the warnings as i go along, this is gonna be fun, virgil is alice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 22:27:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16228571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imthederpyfox/pseuds/imthederpyfox
Summary: Virgil's adventures lead him down a rabbit-hole intoWonderland, wher ehe meets an array of curious characters, including the Mad Hatter, the Mock Turtle and the grinning Cheshire-CatPARODYYYYYYYI haven't done a parody in a while, all original content was written by Lewis Carroll.I love Alice in Wonderland and I've had this idea since Virgil stole Logan's puzzlebook.





	Virgil's Adventures in Wonderland

**Original story by Lewis Carroll  
THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0  
**

##  **_____** **  
**

  
**Chapter 1  
Down the Rabbit-Hole**   
  


Virgil was beginning to get very tired of sitting by his sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice he had peeped into the book his sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversation in it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Virgil 'without pictures or conversation?'

So he was considering in his own mind (as well as he could, for the hot day made him feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by him.   
There was nothing so  _very_ remarkable in that; nor did Virgil think it so  _very_  much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!" (when he thought it over afterwards, it occurred to him that he ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually  _took a watch out of his waistcoat-pocke_ t, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Virgil started to his feet, for it flashed across his mind that he had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, he ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Virgil after it, never once considering how in the world he was going to get out again. 

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Virgil had not a moment to think about stopping himself before he found himself falling down a very deep well.

Either the well was very deep, or he fell very slowly, for he had plenty of time as he went down to look about him and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, he tried to look down and make out what he was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then he looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filed with cupboards and book-shelves; here and there he saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. He took down a jar from one of the shelves as he passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE CROFTERS', but to his great disappointment it was empty: he did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as he fell past it. 

'Well!' thought Virgil to himself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!" (Which was very likely true.)

Down, down, down. Would the fall  _never_  come to an end! "I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?" he said aloud. "I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think-" (for, you see, Virgil had learnt several things of this sort in his lessons in the school-room, and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off his knowledge, as there was no one to listen to him, still it was good practice to say it over) "-yes, that's about the right distance - but I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?" (Virgil had no idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)

Presently he began again. "I wonder if I shall fall right  _through_  the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think-" (he was rather glad there was no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) "-but I shall have to ask the what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?" (and he tried to curtsy as he spoke - fancy  _curtsying_  as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) "And what an ignorant little boy she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere."

Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Virgil soon began talking again. "Sleep'll miss me very much tonight, I should think!" (Sleep was the cat.) " I hope they'll remember his saucer of milk at tea-time. Sleep my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?" And here Virgil began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to himself, in a dreamy sort of way, "Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes, "Do bats eat cats?" for, you see, as he couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which was he put it. He felt that he was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that he was walking hand in hand with Sleep, and saying to him very earnestly, "Now, Sleep, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down he came upon a head of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

Virgil was not a bit hurt, and he jumped up on to his feet in a moment: he looked up, but it was all dark over-head; before him was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Virgil like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!" He was close behind it when he turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: he found himself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging form the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Virgil had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, he walked sadly down the middle, wondering how he was ever to get out again. 

Suddenly he came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Virgil's first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time round, he came upon a low curtain he had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: he tried the little golden key in the lock, and to his great delight it fitted!

Virgil opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: he knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How he longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but he could not even get his head through the doorway; 'and even if my head  _would_  go through' thought poor Virgil, 'it would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Virgil had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so he went back to the table, half hoping he might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time he found a little bottle on it, ("which certainly was not there before," said Virgil,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the anxious and wise little Virgil was not going to do  _that_  in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," he said, "and see whether it's marked  _'poison'_  or not"; for he had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they  _would_  not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger  _very_  deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and he had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked  _'poison_ ', it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was  _not_  marked 'poison', so Virgil ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee and hot buttered toast,) he very soon finished it off.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *  
     *        *        *        *        *        *        *  
*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

"What a curious feeling!" said Virgil; "I must be shutting up like a telescope."

And so it was indeed: he was now only ten inches high, and his face brightened up at the thought that he was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, he waited for a few minutes to see if he was going to shrink any further: he felt nervous about this; "for it might end you know," said Virgil to himself, "in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?" And he tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for he could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing more happened, he decided on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Virgil! when he got to the door, he found he had forgotten the little golden key, and when he went back to the table for it, he found he could not possibly reach it: he could see it quite plainly through the glass, and he tried his best to climb one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when he had tired himself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and cried.

"Come, there's no use in crying like that!" said Virgil to himself, rather sharply; "I advise you to leave off this minute!" He generally gave himself very good advice, (thought he very seldom followed it), and sometimes he scolded himself so severely as to bring tears into his eyes; and once he remembered trying to box his own ears for having cheated himself in a game of croquet he was playing against himself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no use now,' thought poor Virgil, 'to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make  _one_  respectable person!"

Soon his eyes fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: he opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said Virgil, "and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key, and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!"

He ate a little bit, and said anxiously to himself, "Which way? Which way?", holding his hand on the top of his head to feel which way it was growing, and he was quite surprised to find that he remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Virgil had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

So he set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *  
     *        *        *        *        *        *        *  
*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *


End file.
